The Countdown Begins

I went to the Mission SF Carnaval yesterday to get in the mood for Brazil. There won't be any Carnaval while I'm there but maybe some other visit in my future. I saw tons of people I havent seen in forever. Who knew that you could just kick it at a booth and see all kinds of beautiful familiar faces come to your neighborhood, finally! I took refuge in this booth most of the time cause large crowds are not my thing. I hung out with Rosa and Gina who were selling their beautiful hand made beaded jewlery (of course I already have two pairs) and Jerry was selling his T-shirts with his original art www.estiloclothing.com. I actually came to the booth to look at the shirts and realized...well looky here, its the homies! And of course can't forget Xago looking shady in his shades and beautiful Susie surveying the scene, visiting home from LA.

I'm starting to pack and have been doing some research on the places I will be staying (I leave June 6th!) I will be in Rio the first week and then after that we will be in Belo Horizonte
(portuguese version here) working with the non profit Salo do Encontro (there used to be a site in english but I can't find it anymore, you'll get the idea though). I just found out that Belo Horizonte is the birthplace of Sepultura, (R will be so excited) and also the 3rd largest city in Brazil. It will be fall/ winter time there so I think that means the weather will be just right, but still a lot of humidity which is just how I like it. You know I have those tropical roots.

I'm Going to BRAZIL

I know I should be excited. I think I am, I am just trying to finish up finals, grading papers and spring cleaning. I've just been in a blue mood and Im doing everything in my power to procrastinate. Stress does that to me. I dont want to go out of the house if I dont have to or if Im not forced to. And with this beautiful weather you would think I would go outside and not want to come back.

But yes BRASIL!! That will definately take away my blues. I will be too busy taking in the new surroundings not to love life. We are going to be working on a video project for a non-profit in Belo Horizonte. We will also be spending some time in Rio. I'm leaving on June 6 will be there a month and half, with an extra week just to travel by myself. I havent planned that part of the trip yet but I've got a guidebook and I figure while we are working on the project I will figure out what to do with that extra week. Im glad that the group I am going with is small. Im a little worried though cause some of those undergrads seem like they havent really traveled out of the US before and I am so over traveling with gringos who only want to party. Not that I dont want to have fun. It is close to impossible for me not to have fun. I love having adventures in new realities...yes I said reality. I love learning about someones day to day experiences. I'm just not into hanging out with other tourists.

I hope I will have internet access so I can post a little on what the experience is like. I hope I pick up Portuguese with my spanish speaking background. I think we will be taking lessons in the mornings. But of course they say the best way to learn a language is on the pillow. hmmm

Naked Truths-Queer Women of Color Shorts

Tuesday June 7, 2005 Rainbow Room
1800 Market St, SF

Espejo: A Closer Look-Queer Latina Shorts

Queer Women Of Color Film Festival
Monday June 6, 2005 7pm
Rainbow Room 1800 Market St. SF

Las Manas at the Brava Theater

Cruz, Maya Marisa, Rosa, Gina and Genevieve
Las Manas at the Brava Theater

Desert Blood: The Juarez Murders

Friday, April 29 - 7:30 PM

From acclaimed poet and prose-writer Alicia Gaspar de Alba, Desert Blood is a gripping thriller that ponders the effects of patriarchy, gender identity, bor der culture, transnationalism and globalization on an international crisis.

I will be going tonight to see this reading and I will let you know how it went. Until then here is a poem I wrote about the women of Juarez after a trip I I took to El Paso-Ciudad Juarez in 2004.

Ni Una Mas

Mi querido 24th and mission
Conjunto on a Tuesday night
Mostly men gathered around to listen, to the upright bass
Acoustic guitar, drum and of course-- the accordion
Harmonizing. reminding stocky brown skinned men of home
They will be home soon they think,
no need to do anything permanent here

And the bar on the corner always a
pop song, ballad, cumbia
salsita BLARING
The music sometimes draws me near
but the Men spilling out to the street ...ssst sst mamacita
Reminds me that no mujer decente would be in there

Some reason I know to walk away, (hurried hips, not swaying)
Even though I’ve never considered myself especially decente
and Even though my father says
I sometimes talk like one of those women in those bars
And we automatically know what one of those women are.

Poor women aren’t allowed liberation
Or maybe they find freedom in tight jeans and
A stretchy v-neck that shows every bump every movement
Dripping ornaments dangle teasing
gold hoops lasso your eyes
You will see me!

"Ay!" He says,"why do you women wear a dark bra under a white shirt
Only Nacas do that!"

She sighs uncomfortable in skin she thought she was comfortable in
She thought it looked fine,
hurls back: " the bra is pink and is close enough to my skin!"
as she changes to a darker shirt

They say don’t walk alone at night because something
might happen to you
And if it does, well then you shouldn’t have been alone
Blame the victim reflex,
so you don't have to take any responsibility

What if you don’t have someone to walk with?
Lock yourself inside until someone comes for you?
Until the world changes?

And he says, "yeah, the world ‘s a dangerous place for women.
But how are we supposed to change things?
It will always just be dangerous for women to be alone.
Some men will always rape some women."

I can’t believe he says this, but then that is what we are talking about,
right?
Fear,
the ultimate power over a woman.

Rape
Confidence busted
Trust gone disgusted
Picked up from a black top smack down
Sub standard practices
Negative in the place of a positive
Accusatory sin and no redemption in sight.

Its dangerous to be a woman; even first world.
That is why I am connected to my hermanas on the border.
I know what it is to fear to have body of mujer

"Be careful! I hear they are killing women over there"
My 1st world status means nothing?

Body parts , cut nipples,
legs disconnected from hips
Her brown eyes, her smile never seen
Her laugh not heard anew
The last her mother saw of her was bone. She didn’t get to say good-bye.
Bone. No flesh to be ogled wounded.
What she most wants to hug her daughter again.

The Border.
This line that is not a bridge, not a line, it ‘s a ditch a hole an open wound,
Like the Berlin wall the Great Walls, apartheid wall, imaginary walls
Not just one wall
But several, cement, iron gate, barbed wire
Keeping us out Keeping you in.
Men with guns protecting who again?
Whose interests?
Eerie walls of silence

So we March, mourn,
Remember
write letters, make speeches
hold discussions
Looking up from fear
and hopelessness
raising awareness
no longer complicit
refusing silence
daring to be powerful

in twos, twentys or two hundreds.

Cause the Missing turned up raped & mutilated,
Ni una mas!

Ineptitude bungling of local authorities,
Ni una mas!

Blame the victim reflex
she must have run off with a boyfriend
maybe your precious daughter lead a double life.
Ni una mas!

Young, pretty, long brown hair, poor, brown skin.
Ni una mas!

Mexico lindo y querido has some dirty secrets,
Yes la madre de las tierras is helping hide our naughty dirty laundry
Out in the dessert, only half hidden,
So you know what happens to women who step out of line,
Out of the house
NAFTA’s neglected, unprotected, migration survival,
maquila women earning 4 dollars a day
working on electronics, working on clothes she could never afford.

Explosion of exploitation!
Is only the half of it
Representing the condition
of women across the planet

Symptoms of a deeper problem.
Tener cuerpo de mujer es ser
amenazado de muerte
Her only crime was being a woman
Crimes against all our humanity

Pero sabes Que?

No Estan Solas.
No Estan Solas.
No Estan Solas!

WE ARE NOT ALONE

Women of Color Film Festival- This weekend

I will be going Friday and Saturday so I will let you know how it went. M


DISRUPTING BORDERS: SEEING SILENCES AND IMAGINING TRANS-FORMATIONS

Friday, April 22 - Sunday, April 24
Media Theatre -- UC Santa Cruz

For the detailed PROGRAM, including film screening
times, description of the films, and to view our co-sponsors
visit our website: http://queer.ucsc.edu/home/woc.shtml

This years exciting film festival will feature opening
remarks by Angela Y. Davis (History of Consciousness),
panels moderated by Rosa Linda Fregoso (LALS), Vicky
Banales (Literature) and other members of the Women of
Color Research Cluster.


We will also be joined by over 20 locally and
internationally renowned women of color filmmakers and
performance artists!


For disability needs please call 459-4839.
There will be free parking available all weekend!